Weight Problems or Weight Solutions

Hello World, my name is Jessica Sinkler and I am turning 30 on July 1st. 

Yasss, turn up for the BIG 30. I am happy and excited to be 30. I want my 30’s to be better than my 20’s. All through my 20’s I kept saying this is my year to get my fitness/ health together. I would start a diet and within a week I would give up. I would always say to myself, “Okay, since it's Wednesday and I messed up already lets refresh Monday.” Monday would come around and I would say well the month has already started let me start again next month. Next month would come around I would make excuses after excuses. Want to hear my excuses? Here they go:

1)      I do not have energy today

2)      I get off today at 5pm so once I get off I am going to work out, but I am sleepy so I am going to wake up early in the morning.

3)      Its 6am, heck naw, I deserve sleep I work hard,

4)      A fresh month, yes let’s get it Jess…….. 1 week later ohh I don’t see progress (yes, I am one of those lol) let’s try again next week.

5)      Ohh, I am started to see progress 1 chip don’t hurt……. 2 bags later well I already messed up my diet let’s start again next month.

I’m sure you get the point of my madness. Now that I walked you through a little of madness let me tell you how I got there. I was always a little chunky growing up. I remember my Aunt Cathy would joke around and say I have a, “pot belly” I think that was the saying. It didn’t bother me as a kid until one day in 9^th grade,  I was standing in an area with my friends and I saw a group of guys looking at me pointing and laughing. In my mind they aren’t laughing at me, but they were laughing at something.

I was friends with some of them, so I was sure they weren’t laughing at me. I got closer to see what was up. 

I heard one boy, “Yes she is the fat one in the group."
Another boy, “Don’t forget ugly."

 My heart started to race because they noticed I caught on and instead of saying sorry they said, "Let's make her feel like dog poop (shit)."

*mom if you are reading this I know I told you I want to stop cursing but forgive me*

Wow, I never in my life have been called that to my face. Elementary and middle school was fine for me. I felt so low.  All I could go is cry and cry and cry. My friends kept telling me to ignore it. but how can you ignore that? To make a long story short about my high school years I dealt with that every day of high school.

I tried to put on a poker face and let me tell you Jessica doesn’t have any type of poker face at all. While at school dealing with that I was also dealing with it at home, with my father’s mother, (okay I am going to call her grandma). I stayed at my Grandmother's house because my mom didn’t want me to go to school in the area we lived in. I could have stayed at home with my mom, but I wanted to be closer to my friends. My grandmother would remind me about my weight, almost everyday, and compare me to her adopted daughter. My own flesh in blood was talking crap about me. 

“You sure you want to eat?"
 “You are so stupid."
“You are on a diet,"
 "Well, your aunts are fat and your dad is fat so good luck.”

 Those are some of the things I dealt with instead of telling my parents. I would always cry and talk about my weight to my mom and older sister. They would do everything in their power to make me feel better, but I felt powerless and if I was honest with them I am sure all of this would have gone away. I am not telling you this to feel sorry for me but I want to give a history, as to why my excuses started to be created. Recently, I told my dad everything that happened and I realized I was scared to tell him since that’s his mom. 

I did a lot of diets to lose weight. I would lose some pounds, but it wouldn’t stick. One reason they didn’t stick was because I never did real research about changing my eating habits and two I wouldn’t exercise. I finally admitted it lol. *I am sure my friends and trainer are happy that I've stopped lying to myself.*

……….. If you did any of the following diets please raise your hands...

1)      Special K diet (You eat two bowls of Special K cereal and 1 real meal, in between you have snacks). I am not a cereal person. You are supposed to do this for two weeks and lose 6 pounds. I made it to 5 days and said no thank you.

2)      I did “Weight Watchers.” I was 17 or 18 at the time one of the members kind of discouraged me by saying, “You are young I am sure you can’t relate to us."

3)      My favorite not really, “The Grapefruit diet."  I lasted for about 4 hours, lmao. Maybe that one shouldn’t count lol. Plus grapefruits yuck!!!!!

In addition to the diets, I would buy fruits and vegetables in bulk and of course they would go bad. At the age of twenty-nine, yes 29, I am happy to say I finally learned to buy fruit and veggies, only for the week lol. 

Every time I tried to lose weight I would hear those voices in my head saying, "You CAN'T."

I am ready to tell those voices to SHUT UP!!!

Here are my goals:

I am going to release 60 pounds from my body. Right now, I weigh 201 pounds and I want to be at least 140 (I remember when I thought 140 was fat).  I’m 5’2.  I am going to give the 4 reasons why I am going to release 60 pounds:

1)      To feel good about myself

2)      More energy, I am too young to have low energy

3)      Beautiful skin that glows

4)      Start putting my health first (better self-care)

5)      Bonus to finally wear a bikini and feel comfortable

The way I am going to do that is by studying the effects of food (reading, watching documentaries, etc.) I am also to work out (I have a personal trainer already Donnie you are the best). The days I am not working out with my trainer I will be working out with friends and family. Plus, I am going to be doing yoga again. I love yoga it gives you a chance to shape your body into what you want. I have accountability partners. I am going to cook and make healthier choices. As of June 1 2016, I removed meat from my diet (chicken, pork, and beef). I am still eating fish. Today has been 22 days since and I feel great, I’m doing this for 90 days. 

I removed meat from my diet to see how I feel plus how my health shapes. I'll get into that, in my next post. I will be brown bagging for lunch instead of buying out all the time. My budget will be happy, lol. I am going to ask my community for help and take feedback. The days when I feel like giving up I am going to write out why I am doing this. I want to show Jessica (myself) you are worthy of completing your goals and worthy of a healthier life style.  I want my nieces and younger cousins to know that you can do anything.  

I want to show younger girls you can love your body if you are fat, skinny, in the middle but in the process still make healthier choices. I want to be the woman I know that’s in me. I am going to make Jessica proud and finally complete this goal. Even after my goal is complete, I am going to still make better choices. This is the summer of miracles.

Sit back and let’s get IN-FORMATION together.