How can falling in love with someone be a goal? I’ve always been taught that goals are supposed to logical. But, love and logic don’t go together. My brain and my heart are always at odds.
The logical way of reaching a goal is to make sure it is SMART. Specific. Measurable. Attainable. Realistic. Timely.
Being specific was the easy part. I had a list of the things I want in my ideal man, down to his shoe size. He’d be intelligent, ambitious, and kind. And chocolate. He’d have a job, a legal way to support himself. I wouldn’t mind if he graduated from an HBCU, like me. I could get more specific…but maybe that was a part of the problem.
And measurable? How do you measure love? How could you measure something you’ve never had? Is love recognizable by the number of gifts and sweet words? Or, date nights and social media shout outs. Maybe it was kind actions and kisses.
Attainability is another obstacle. Love isn’t something you can buy from the store and wear like a new shirt. It isn’t something you can force upon yourself or another individual. And I don’t even know what that someone is. I should not have to change things about myself.
I deserve love. I know that to be true. That’s a reality.
When will my time come? That’s the question I ask myself each time another friend gets engaged, or married, and booed up. Obviously rushing to just say, “I did it, I’m in a relationship,” isn’t smart at all. So how could I make this a timely goal?
Deciding to fall in love meant first figuring out how to do it. I want to trust my feelings. I want to turn off the logic and follow my heart. So, I’m dedicating my #SummerSixteen to finding a love like I’ve never had before. To love and be loved. To hold hands and flirt. To date and smile. To be courted.
Step one, turn off that brain.
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