Wednesday, July 20, 2016

I Want Nice Things..And It Scares Me


On June 10, 2009 a young lady named Kelsey published a Facebook note entitled "one of these days ima be a beast dammit [random thoughts on life && poetry]." Horrible grammar and punctuation choices aside, in it she poured her heart out about how she wanted to be a better poet and all of these action steps she would take to make that happen. And you know what came of that passionate post? Nothing. The note disappeared from her memory shortly after Facebook buried it with other fun distractions and all of the confidence displayed was quickly replaced with fear. The usual..

Surprise! That girl is me. And I am still struggling with "being a beast" but not for the reasons 18 year old Kelsey was focused on. I would be silly and a liar to say that my poetry is not "good". Over the past year, I've come into my own writing style and experienced significant breakthroughs. But this post is about sharing struggles so I can be honest among friends right? I still feel like a fraud. Maybe fraud isn't the accurate word but it pops up in my head the most. I constantly feel, when in the spaces that poets reside, I'm just a girl that occasionally does poetry. 

Recently, while visiting my best friend in Maryland, I begged her to take me to Busboys and Poets. It was a venue I heard a lot about and was excited to see what the DC poetry scene had to offer. I was overwhelmed as usual but surprisingly once I got on stage I felt extremely free. I allowed myself my words to float off the stage and was really tapping into the emotional space I was in while writing. Dope right? 

When I returned to my seat the host asked "You said you're from San Diego,  are you an artist out there?"

And I froze. 

Approximately 30 seconds after one of the freest performances of my life, I was prepared to reassume the role of unassuming and downplay my aspirations once again. Though I've made great strides in my writing and delivery, I have hesitated to use the label artist or poet or anything that implies I have mastery of my craft. It sounds too legit.

Lucky for me, my BFF is the down ass chick Ja Rule crooned about and she answered yes for me. What I lacked in confidence was overshadowed  by her resolve and the night continued. However, for days that scenario played over and over in my head. Why was I hell bent on not embracing compliments and acceptance? What was blocking me from breaking out of my comfort zone.  I knew that I had to fix my life and get to the root of my problems like a kinder Iyanla. 

I wish that I could blame my confidence woes on the list of people in my life who have hurt me but that wouldn't be the self-actualized thing to do. At the end of the day, I have chosen to internalize the negative messages that insist I don't deserve good things. As my birthday sister BeyoncĂ© would say, I'm supposed to be my own best friend. And I have been a crappy person to the girl in the mirror. My self-sabotage game is strong and I constantly run away from opportunities that excite me but require me being seen. Being seen means allowing a space for my feelings to be critiqued and my heart to be exposed. When I am seen, it means I am letting the world know that I am trying to do something I'm not a master of while simultaneously creating an opportunity for public failure. That terrifies me. Yet, true growth rarely happens in the shadows. I've been out here, stilted and mad that I'm not progressing while steadily running from the work that will get me there. This isn't the legacy I want to leave. So I'm taking the first step: I'm publicly admitting I want things. Nice ones.

This summer, I'm taking a page from Auntie Shonda and saying yes to greatness. At the end of the summer, Slam season will start in San Diego and I want to be in the number of contenders. But more than that, I want to feel I deserve any and all great things my heart desires and be willing to put the work in that is required.  I will not downplay my talent and I will allow myself to be seen and grow. A more self-love filled Kelsey coming at you #AllSummer16 




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